Holiday shopping can feel exciting — with festive music in the background, deals and discounts everywhere, and the satisfaction of finding gifts for loved ones. However, sometimes, after the wrapping paper settles and the receipts pile up, an uneasy feeling can creep in. Did I spend too much? Was this really worth it? Did I buy that because I wanted to, or because I felt like I had to? These questions reflect a common experience called buyer’s remorse.

Whether it’s after a big purchase on Black Friday or a late-night online shopping spree, buyer’s remorse can bring regret, guilt, and stress. In this blog, we’ll explore what buyer’s remorse is, how to recognize it, why it happens, and gentle ways to cope.

What is buyer’s remorse?

Buyer’s remorse, sometimes called buyer’s regret, refers to the feeling of regret after making a purchase, especially if it was expensive or impulsive. Doubts about whether the item was worth it can surface after the initial excitement fades. For many people, buyer’s remorse may include feelings such as:

  • Regret over how much money was spent
  • Worry that the item won’t be used or enjoyed
  • Shame over giving in to impulse buying or sales pressure
  • Financial stress

Common signs of buyer’s remorse

Buyer’s remorse can vary from person to person, but some common experiences include:

  • Second-guessing or overthinking a purchase
  • Feeling guilt or shame about the cost
  • Trying to return or cancel a purchase quickly
  • Avoiding looking at receipts, bank statements, or packages
  • Stress when thinking about finances after shopping
  • Comparing purchases with others and questioning decisions

These feelings can be stressful — especially during the holidays, when emotions are heightened and there’s pressure to give generously or spend beyond your means. For some, this can even lead to a cycle of gift anxiety or avoidance altogether.

Why does buyer’s remorse happen?

Buyer’s remorse isn’t just about money — it can also be connected to emotions, identity, and expectations. It may be tied to cognitive dissonance, a term that describes the mental discomfort we feel when our actions (like spending too much) don’t align with our values (like being financially responsible). When we realize we might not have made the “best” choice, our brain tries to make sense of it — sometimes by flooding us with negative feelings.

Other factors that can contribute to buyer’s remorse include:

  • Decision fatigue: After making lots of choices (like during a long day of shopping), our brain can get overwhelmed with analysis paralysis, and impulsive decisions become more likely.
  • Social comparison: Seeing others post their hauls or gifts on social media can make us fall into the comparison trap or feel like we didn’t do “enough.”
  • Expectations vs. reality: If an item doesn’t live up to what we hoped for, or if someone doesn’t react to a gift the way we imagined, disappointment can turn into regret.
  • Social pressure: Sales can create a false sense of urgency that leads us to make purchases we wouldn’t normally consider.

How to cope with buyer’s remorse

If you’re dealing with buyer’s remorse — whether from holiday shopping, an impulse buy, or a pricey investment — here are a few tips to help cope:

1. Pause and reflect

Before reacting, take a moment to sit with your feelings. Ask yourself:

  • What emotion am I really feeling right now? Am I feeling guilt, anxiety, or frustration?
  • Is this purchase actually problematic, or am I being too hard on myself?

2. Revisit your values

Sometimes, regret stems from feeling like we acted out of alignment with our priorities. Consider:

  • Did I feel pressured to make this purchase, or was it intentional?
  • Does it reflect how I want to show up for myself or others?

3. Set boundaries for future spending

If your remorse stems from overdoing it financially, this might be a good opportunity to:

  • Set a spending limit for next year.
  • Create a budget for big purchases.
  • Use a 24-hour rule before buying non-essential items.

4. Make it right if you can

If the purchase truly feels like a mistake:

  • Check the return policy. Many stores extend return windows during the holidays.
  • Talk to someone about how you’re feeling. Bottling up guilt rarely helps.

Tips to cope with buyer's remorse.

Planning ahead for holiday shopping

One of the best ways to prevent buyer’s remorse is to shop with a plan. When we shop on impulse, especially during sales like Black Friday, it can be easy to get swept up in urgency and emotion. With a bit of preparation, you can keep your holiday shopping intentional and aligned with your values.

  • Start with a budget: Before making a list of items, decide what you can realistically afford at the moment. Remember to factor in wrapping supplies, cards, shipping costs, and any holiday extras like decor or party contributions.
  • Make a list of people first: Rather than starting with what you want to buy, start with who you’re buying for. Then, brain dump thoughtful ideas for each person based on their interests.
  • Set a spending limit per person: This helps avoid emotional overspending and keeps things equitable (which can reduce gift anxiety, too).
  • Get creative: Not every gift needs to be physical or expensive. Add ideas like experiences, handwritten notes, DIY gifts, or acts of service.
  • Shop with intention: Before checking out, ask yourself, do you feel good about this purchase? Are you buying this for the right reason?

Having a clear plan can help you stay grounded and avoid post-shopping regret that can follow emotional or impulsive decisions.

The psychology behind gift-giving

Gift-giving can bring joy, but it can also come with pressure. Studies have shown that if gift-giving is making you stressed, then dopamine and oxytocin aren’t being released in your brain. This can lead to feeling stressed the whole time. Therefore, a shift in mindset can be helpful.

Here are a few reminders that may help:

  • For many people, connection feels most meaningful
  • Homemade or thoughtful gifts often have emotional value
  • Quality time may feel more meaningful than material gifts

Being intentional with how you give (and to whom) may ease gift anxiety and make your holiday season more grounded.

Therapy for buyer’s remorse and financial stress

Buyer’s remorse can overlap with deeper concerns about money, self-worth, and decision-making. While these feelings aren’t uncommon, they can sometimes build up and affect well-being. Talking with a licensed therapist may help.

  • Therapy offers a safe space to explore emotions around spending, guilt, or comparison.
  • Many people find that therapy helps them notice patterns, such as compulsive shopping when stressed or comparing themselves to others, and can develop new ways to respond.
  • Working with a therapist may support skills like setting limits, practicing self-compassion, and aligning financial choices with personal values.
  • If financial worries are connected to broader concerns, therapy can be a place to unpack those connections at your own pace.

Therapy may help people feel more grounded and intentional in the choices they make.

Takeaway

If you’ve been feeling weighed down by buyer’s remorse, know that it’s a common and valid response, especially during the high-pressure holiday season. If you find yourself struggling to unpack deeper feelings around money, self-worth, or anxiety, therapy may be helpful. Therapy can provide a safe space to talk through these emotions and build better tools for decision-making, boundaries, and self-compassion.