As the year comes to an end, many people naturally start reflecting on the last twelve months. There may be some memories of joys, challenges, and unexpected turns. It’s tempting to wonder, “If only things had gone differently…” or “Next year, I’ll be perfect.” Yet, sometimes situations are outside of our control. That’s where radical acceptance can be a healing tool.
Radical acceptance invites us to acknowledge reality. That doesn’t mean we have to like it, agree with it, or pretend it’s not hard. It means practicing recognizing that the moment is exactly as it is, and accepting this truth can actually open the door to a healthier relationship with ourselves and others. Whether you’re ending the year on a high note or feeling weighed down by the weight of this year’s challenges, learning radical acceptance techniques may help you move into the new year with clarity and self-compassion.
What is radical acceptance?
Radical acceptance is the practice of fully acknowledging reality as it is, without judgment or resistance. The word “radical” refers to acceptance being complete, not partial or conditional.
The term is often associated with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a form of therapy that blends mindfulness and elements of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). In DBT, radical acceptance is described as a skill that may reduce emotional suffering. Research also suggests acceptance-based strategies can help people cope more effectively with pain and distress.
Everyday examples of radical acceptance
In daily life, radical acceptance may look like:
- Recognizing that a breakup has happened instead of holding onto “maybe they’ll come back.“
- Accepting that a holiday gathering may not be like it was in the past.
- Acknowledging that a personal goal didn’t get accomplished this year, while recognizing that this is a common human experience.
When a situation is truly accepted, many people find it becomes easier to stop ruminating on how it “could have been different,” making space for what comes next.
Possible benefits of radical acceptance
Resisting reality can feel exhausting. Replaying events or wishing for a different outcome often keeps people stuck in frustration. Radical acceptance may help to break this cycle. Many people find that radical acceptance may also help to:
- Reduce emotional suffering: Acceptance does not remove pain, but it may ease the suffering that comes from resisting what is.
- Free up energy: Instead of pouring energy into resentment, energy may be redirected on finding peace.
- Improve relationships: Acceptance in relationships may allow people to meet others as they are, rather than wishing they would change.
- Build emotional resilience: Practicing acceptance in everyday situations may strengthen the ability to handle bigger challenges.
Acceptance does not mean giving up; it can mean noticing the truth of the moment, which may help with moving forward.
How to begin practicing acceptance
Learning radical acceptance is a process that often takes time. It is common to feel unable to fully accept something right away. Starting small and being patient with yourself can help. Possible strategies include:
- Notice when you’re resisting reality: Pay attention to thoughts like “this isn’t fair” or “it shouldn’t be this way.“
- Name the facts: State what is true without adding judgment. For example, if your friend canceled plans, you may state, “My friend canceled our plans today” rather than “my friend canceled on me again because they don’t care about our friendship.“
- Use mindfulness to stay present: Mindfulness techniques help you stay connected to what’s happening in the present moment instead of getting lost in “what ifs.“
- Try the “willing hands” DBT exercise: This involves opening your hands, palms up, and resting them gently on your lap. This posture can help your body signal openness and acceptance into your mind.
- Shift your language: Replace “I can’t do this” with “I don’t like this, but I can get through it.“
Affirmations for radical acceptance
Affirmations can help some people anchor themselves in self-acceptance. You might repeat these silently, write them down in a journal, or think them to yourself. Examples of affirmations for acceptance include:
- I accept this moment exactly as it is.
- I can feel my feelings without letting them control me.
- I choose to let go of what I cannot change.
- I can find peace, even when things don’t go my way.
- I am learning and growing through every experience.
These affirmations may be helpful when practicing radical acceptance.
Radical acceptance in DBT therapy
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a form of therapy that focuses on teaching ways to manage intense emotions, learn to cope with challenges, and improve relationships. It also includes skills for mindfulness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance. Another skill is radical acceptance — the practice of fully acknowledging reality without judgment.
While self-guided practices may be useful, some people benefit from working with a licensed therapist trained in DBT. In DBT therapy, people may practice:
- Mindfulness techniques to stay grounded in the present
- Exercises that encourage openness to acceptance
- Self-soothing skills to manage distress
- Ways of reframing unhelpful thought patterns
With the support of a licensed therapist specializing in DBT, individuals may have opportunities to build acceptance skills in a safe environment.
Moving toward acceptance
As you look toward the year ahead, you might reflect on situations where acceptance could bring more peace. Perhaps there is a past event that still feels heavy, a relationship you wish had unfolded differently, or a goal that did not turn out as expected.
Radical acceptance may help release the weight of unmet expectations, allowing space for clarity and self-compassion.
Takeaway
Practicing radical acceptance can be one way of showing compassion to yourself. By loosening the struggle against reality, many people find they are able to move forward with greater clarity.
If a situation feels too overwhelming to manage alone, consider connecting with a licensed therapist. A therapist can also help you practice radical acceptance in relationships, self-talk, and daily challenges. Explore therapists near you and online at findmytherapist.com.