Have you ever had a meaningful connection with someone, only for them to suddenly stop responding? Maybe you were texting back and forth, making plans, sharing stories, and all of a sudden, the communication ended. If this sounds familiar, you may have experienced the a trending behavior often referred to as “ghosting.”

Ghosting doesn’t only happen in dating. It can occur in friendships, work situations, and even within families. The digital age has made it easier than ever for someone to simply fade away. This sudden silence can feel confusing and leave you wondering what happened. Learning more about ghosting may help you process the experience with greater self-compassion.

What is ghosting?

Ghosting occurs when communication is cut off suddenly, and often, without explanation. Unlike a clear ending to a relationship, ghosting can leave the other person in a state of confusion and uncertainty. Ghosting may look like:

  • Stopping all responses to texts, calls, or messages
  • Avoiding in-person encounters
  • Unfollowing or blocking on social media platforms
  • Failing to show up for activities or dates
  • Providing no explanation or closure

Ghosting can happen at any stage of a relationship, from someone you’ve been dating for months to a person you’ve only had a few conversations with. The common thread here is the abrupt stop to communication that may leave you wondering what happened.

Signs you may have been ghosted

Sometimes it’s not easy to tell if someone is truly busy or has decided to ghost you. Here are some signs you may be dealing with ghosting:

  • No response to texts, calls, or emails for an extended period of time
  • Read receipts show they’ve seen your messages, but they haven’t been replying
  • They were previously quick to respond, but they have become unresponsive
  • Plans you made together are ignored
  • They are not showing up for plans that you made together
  • They’ve unfollowed, unfriended, or blocked you
  • The silence doesn’t match their previous communication patterns
  • You find yourself making excuses for their behavior
  • You over-analyze your last interactions

If something feels “off,” listening to your instincts while also giving people reasonable time to respond can help you interpret the situation.

Examples of ghosting

Being ghosted refers to being on the receiving end of this sudden silence. It can be that sinking feeling when you realize your texts are going unanswered, your calls unreturned, and your attempts at connection are met with empty space. The experience can leave you feeling rejected, confused, and questioning what you might have done wrong. Here are some common examples of scenarios where ghosting occurs:

  • In dating: You’ve been seeing someone for several weeks, having great conversations and enjoyable dates. You text them about your upcoming weekend plans, but you never hear back from them. Days turn into weeks of silence.
  • In friendships: A close friend stops responding to your texts after you had what seemed like a normal conversation. They don’t return your calls and seem to be avoiding places where you may run into each other.
  • In work settings: A potential employer who seemed enthusiastic about working with you suddenly stops responding to your emails and doesn’t return your calls.

Why people ghost others

Ghosting often reflects the other person’s challenges rather than your own worth. Common reasons why people may resort to this behavior include:

  • Fear of conflict or confrontation: Some people find difficult conversations challenging and choose the path of least resistance by simply disappearing. They may worry about hurting your feelings or dealing with an uncomfortable situation about why things aren’t working out.
  • Lack of emotional maturity or communication skills: Some individuals may not know how to express their feelings clearly.
  • Loss of interest: Rather than having an honest conversation about their feelings, some people find it easier to choose silence.
  • Avoidance of guilt: People may ghost to avoid feeling guilty about ending a relationship, not realizing that their ghosting can cause more pain than an honest conversation would.
  • Life changes: Stress, mental health concerns, or major events can limit capacity to engage for some.

A gentler version of ghosting, sometimes referred to as caspering (named after the friendly ghost), is where communication gradually decreases instead of stopping suddenly.

Why ghosting hurts so much

The impact of being ghosted can go beyond the loss of connection. Ghosting can hurt due to many factors, including:

  • Lack of closure: When someone ghosts you, it can feel like they’re denying you the opportunity to understand what happened. This can leave your mind to fill in the blanks, which may be accompanied by self-criticism.
  • Rejection distress: Research suggests that rejection can activate regions of the brain linked to physical pain.
  • Ambiguous loss: Unlike a clear breakup, ghosting can create what some psychologists call ambiguous loss. You may be left grieving a relationship that ended without acknowledgment. This type of loss can be difficult to process and move past.
  • Self-doubt: The silence can lead to self-reflection and self-doubt. You may find yourself replaying every interaction, wondering what you said or did wrong, or questioning your value.
  • Trust issues: You may find yourself worrying whether new relationships will end the same way.

How to cope with being ghosted

While you can’t control someone else’s decision to ghost you, you can control how you respond and take care of yourself. Here are a few practical coping strategies for dealing with the feelings and emotions that can come with being ghosted:

  • Allow yourself to feel the emotions: Acknowledge that your feelings are valid. Don’t rush to “get over it” or minimize your experience. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the connection.
  • Resist the urge to pursue answers: Avoid sending multiple text messages or trying different platforms to reach them. Remember that continued pursuit may not change the outcome and can increase your own distress.
  • Focus on what you can control: Channel your energy into activities, hobbies, and friendships that bring you joy. Invest in self-care practices that help you feel grounded and confident. Use this time to reflect on what you learned about yourself and what you want from relationships.
  • Reframe the narrative: Remember that ghosting often reflects more about the person doing the ghosting. Try to consider that someone who ghosts may not be emotionally available for the kind of relationship you deserve. View their departure as making space for someone better suited for you.
  • Seek support: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your experience. Consider journaling to process your thoughts and emotions. If the impact feels overwhelming, consider seeking professional mental health support.

Tips for coping after being ghosted.

When being ghosted becomes a pattern

If being ghosted or ghosting feels like a repeated pattern, consider exploring this with a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to:

  • Explore patterns in relationship selection
  • Work through attachment styles that may influence your connections
  • Develop stronger boundaries and communication skills
  • Process any underlying trauma that may be affecting your relationships
  • Build self-esteem and emotional resilience

Takeaway

If you’ve experienced ghosting, remember that it does not reflect your worth or relationship potential. Your feelings are real and valid. This behavior often says more about the person doing the ghosting than it does about the person being ghosted.

While you can’t control whether someone will ghost you, you can focus on how you respond, what you learn, and the healthy relationships you want to build. You can use these experiences as opportunities to clarify your values, strengthen your self-confidence, and develop emotional resilience.