Loss is a complex human experience, and yet it’s something many people will encounter at some point in their lives. Whether the loss is sudden or unexpected, the emotional and practical impact of bereavement can feel overwhelming. You might find yourself searching for answers, trying to understand what you’re feeling, or looking for ways to get through the days.

July is National Bereaved Parents Awareness Month, a time to bring awareness to the impact of grief and resources. Learning what bereavement is and how it’s connected to mental health can help you understand what you’re going through and what might be supportive during this time.

What is bereavement?

Bereavement refers to the period of time after losing a loved one, when a person is experiencing grief and adjusting to life without a loved one. It’s often used interchangeably with grief and mourning, but there are subtle differences between these terms.

  • Bereavement: The period of grief and mourning after a loss.
  • Grief: The internal emotional response to loss. This may include sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, regret, shock, and denial.
  • Mourning: How grief is expressed outwardly.

If you’ve wondered about the difference between bereavement and grief, this distinction can be helpful: to be bereaved means you’ve experienced a loss, while grief describes how that loss feels internally.

Some people may notice intense emotions early on. Others may experience delayed grief reactions, where feelings may surface weeks or months later. The experience can also shift over time, sometimes aligning with what is commonly known as the stages of grief. However, not everyone moves through them in a linear way.

Types of grief and loss

Not all grief looks the same. Understanding different types of grief can help normalize different emotional experiences.

  • Anticipatory grief: Anticipatory grief occurs before a loss happens, often when a loved one is facing a terminal illness, such as cancer or another life-limiting illness. It may involve mourning future moments or changes before they occur.
  • Common grief: This is the type of grief most people are familiar with. It includes a range of emotional, physical, and psychological responses.
  • Prolonged grief: Sometimes called prolonged grief disorder or complicated grief, this involves persistent, intense emotions that may not ease over time and interfere with daily functioning.

Some experiences of loss can feel hard to define, but still deeply affect mental health.

  • Ambiguous loss: When there’s a lack of closure, such as a missing person or loved one experiencing cognitive decline.
  • Secondary loss: The ripple effects of loss, like changes in identity, routines, or financial stability.
  • Delayed or suppressed grief: Sometimes, feelings of grief may be delayed due to immediate responsibilities or emotional overwhelm.

Whether someone is navigating family bereavement, loss of a parent, loss of a friend, pet grief, or another form of loss, it’s important to recognize that grief often doesn’t follow a predictable path. Each experience is shaped by factors such as personal relationships, circumstances, and emotional capacity.

When a loved one passes away

In addition to the emotional challenges associated with bereavement, the practical side of grieving the death of someone close can feel like a heavy burden. Some people describe the mental load of responsibilities as overwhelming, especially during early grief.

Organizations like AARP and bereavement support organizations, like the Bereavement Advice Centre, provide resources on what to do after a loss, but requirements may vary. Below is a general overview based on those resources:

Immediately after a death

  • Obtain a legal pronouncement of death: If the death occurs in a hospital or care facility, staff will typically handle this. This documentation is essential for the next steps, like funeral planning.
  • Notify close friends and family: This can feel incredibly difficult, especially if you’re in shock or denial. Some people prefer phone calls, while others send a group text message or ask someone else to share the news.
  • Contact employers (if applicable): This may involve discussing bereavement leave or time off for a death in the family, depending on workplace policies.

Within the first few days of loss

  • Locate any funeral or burial plans: If arrangements were made in advance, look for documents outlining preferences.
  • Plan funeral or memorial services: This may include writing a eulogy, organizing logistics, and coordinating with family or religious organizations.
  • Write an obituary: This may be a collaborative effort with family members.
  • Secure property and care for dependents or pets: Ensuring immediate needs are met can help prevent additional stress later.
  • Forward mail and gather important documents: This may include financial records, identification, and legal paperwork.

In the weeks following the loss

  • Obtain copies of the certified death certificate: These may be needed for legal and financial processes.
  • Locate the will and executor: If applicable, you may begin probate proceedings.
  • Consult professionals if needed: This might involve attorneys or financial advisors.

Referencing a checklist of responsibilities can be helpful. Other responsibilities may include notifying banks and insurance providers, closing accounts or subscriptions, managing debts and bills, and updating records like voter registration.

If a loved one is facing a terminal illness, some of these steps may be able to be addressed in advance. Preparing documents, discussing medical wishes, and organizing information in advance can help reduce stress later.

Coping with loss when someone passes away

Grief can bring a wide range of emotions, sometimes all within a single day. You might feel sadness, anger, shock, denial, guilt, regret, or even moments of calm or acceptance. These experiences can shift over time and may resurface unexpectedly.

It’s not uncommon for grieving people to hear messages about “moving on” or finding meaning in loss, but these ideas don’t always resonate. For some, coping is less about resolving grief and more about learning how to carry it.

Grief coping skills

Different approaches may work for different people. Some examples of grief coping skills include:

  • Journaling or expressive writing
  • Creative outlets like art or music
  • Talking openly with friends or family
  • Participating in support groups or online communities
  • Having a pet as an emotional support companion
  • Spending time in nature or quiet reflection

You might also come across resources like books on grief, which can provide perspective and shared experiences. However, what resonates will vary from person to person.

Ideas for remembering and honoring a loved one

Finding meaningful ways to stay connected to someone who has passed can be a part of coping with grief. Some examples of things to do in memory of a loved one include:

  • Creating a memory box or photo album with photos, letters, or other meaningful items
  • Planting a tree or starting a garden in their memory
  • Choosing memorial jewelry to carry a physical reminder
  • Putting up wind chimes or dedicating a park bench in a meaningful location
  • Supporting a cause or charity that mattered to them
  • Writing letters or journaling about shared memories

These acts can help memorialize loved one connections in ways that feel personal and lasting.

For some, anniversaries like a death anniversary or the birthday of a deceased loved one may bring up strong emotions. Having coping skills to lean on or incorporating rituals can offer a sense of grounding.

Bereavement counseling

While some people lean on support systems and coping skills, some may find it helpful to speak with a mental health professional. Grief counseling or working with a grief counselor can provide a space to explore emotions.

Bereavement counseling can offer:

  • A dedicated space to talk about your experience
  • Support in processing complex or conflicting emotions
  • Guidance in understanding the stages and symptoms of grief
  • Help identifying personal therapy goals related to coping and moving forward

For some, it can feel difficult to share openly with friends or family, especially if others are grieving too. Therapy can provide a supportive environment to explore thoughts and emotions at your own pace.

Takeaway

Bereavement is an ongoing process that involves adjusting to life after loss. It can include emotions, practical responsibilities, and ways of remembering someone important. There is no universal timeline or method for navigating grief, and the grieving experience can look different from one person to another.

If you’re navigating loss or anticipatory grief, it may help to focus on small, manageable steps. That may be learning about practical next steps, finding meaningful ways to remember a loved one, or exploring support options like therapy. If you’re considering grief support, you can browse grief therapists near you at findmytherapist.com to find someone who aligns with your needs.