Coping with Compulsive Shopping

Compulsive shopping is a very real issue affecting millions, yet many people take it lightly or deny its existence. Upwards of 6% of the U.S. adult population shops compulsively, and most of these are women; however, the prevalence is increasing in men. Compulsive shopping can impact emotional health, finances, and relationships. While some may brush it off as retail therapy, for others, it may create a cycle of craving, spending, and regret.

Shopping can release dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter that can provide a temporary mood lift and a need to buy more. This pattern, cycling through feelings of euphoria followed by guilt, is at the heart of compulsive spending and shopping. This can lead to a loop that feels hard to break.

What is compulsive shopping?

Compulsive shopping is often marked by persistent, uncontrollable urges to shop, even when purchases are unnecessary or harmful. Unlike casual or occasional splurging, compulsive shopping is carried out with an intensity and urgency that may lead to financial strain, emotional distress, or impaired daily functioning.

Sometimes the excitement comes less from owning the item and more from the act of buying itself — similar to how kleptomania, another impulse-control condition, involves more thrill in the taking than in possessing.

Signs of compulsive shopping

Spotting the difference between an occasional shopping spree and true compulsive shopping behavior can be tough. Examples of red flags that may go beyond typical retail therapy include:

Shopping as a result of feeling lonely, angry, depressed, or anxious
Arguing with others about shopping habits
Feeling anxious or angry when not able to shop
Spending primarily with credit
Feeling euphoric while spending
Lying about spending or hiding purchases
Thinking obsessively about money and shopping
Spending a lot of time adjusting bills and accounts to accommodate spending habits
Forgoing responsibilities, such as paying bills, to accommodate shopping
Feeling depressed or guilty after making purchases
Avoiding looking at spending and bank statements
Setting up a secret credit card to avoid judgment

Why do I have a shopping addiction?

There’s no single cause behind compulsive shopping. Rather, it’s usually rooted in a mix of emotional, psychological, and biological factors, including:

Emotional regulation: Shopping may serve as a coping mechanism to deal with stress, anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. When dopamine is released during purchasing, it may temporarily shift mood and reinforce the behavior.
Identity and self-worth: Some turn to shopping to confirm a desired personal or social identity.
Psychological comorbidities: Some people with compulsive shopping habits may have mood disorders or substance use disorders.
Cultural and social pressures: Consumerism, marketing, and online platforms can contribute to impulsive spending. For example, contactless shopping and targeted ads make impulsive purchases easier, which can intensify the need to engage in retail therapy tendencies.

While there are different theories surrounding the cause of compulsive shopping behaviors, the overall consensus is that this type of shopper is compulsively spending to relieve emotional tension and to experience a “high” from fulfilling this harmful behavior. The emotional pain ranges from self-esteem issues to childhood trauma to a genetic predisposition. Compulsive shopping has been compared to other harmful habits relating to food and alcohol, with a binge-purge cycle and feelings of extreme guilt and self-hate.

Coping with compulsive shopping

Learning to cope with impulsive shopping often involves a blend of self-care strategies and behavioral adjustments, including:

Pause before purchasing: Implement a waiting period or sleep on it. Then, reevaluate whether it’s a want or a need.
Set clear budgets: Use cash, create visual reminders (like sticky notes), or delete shopping apps to create friction.
Stay mindful of triggers: Track what emotions or situations drive shopping urges and develop healthier coping outlets.
Establish accountability: Shop with a trusted friend, or ask someone to hold you accountable for purchases.
Avoid impulsive online conveniences: Remove saved card info, unsubscribe from promotional emails, and block shopping sites when needed.
Track patterns: Log every purchase, even small ones, to understand triggers and patterns.

Finding help for compulsive shopping

If you’re struggling with compulsive shopping or compulsive spending, therapy can provide a helpful path toward recovery. A mental health professional can give you the tools, support, and accountability you need to break the cycle and address the underlying causes. Types of therapy that can help include:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps identify and change thought patterns and beliefs that can fuel shopping addiction. You’ll learn to recognize triggers, challenge distorted thinking, and replace emotional spending with healthier coping strategies.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Developed for emotion regulation, DBT teaches mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation skills that can reduce the urge to engage in retail therapy as a way to self-soothe.
Psychodynamic Therapy: This approach explores the deeper, often unconscious emotional needs behind compulsive shopping, such as unmet needs from childhood, low self-worth, or identity struggles.

Takeaway