It can be both heartwarming and puzzling to hear your child chatting away with someone who isn’t really there. Maybe you’ve overheard laughter coming from an empty room or seen your child set an extra spot at the table for an invisible companion. For many parents, the idea of an imaginary friend raises questions. This may include, “Is having an imaginary friend normal?” or “What does having an imaginary friend say about my child?“
The truth is, imaginary friends are a common and often healthy part of childhood. They can provide comfort, spark creativity, and even give insight into how your child processes thoughts and emotions. While it may feel surprising, these pretend friendships often reflect a child’s imagination and emotional life.
January 19th is National Imagination Day. In this article, we will explore what an imaginary friend is, why children may have imaginary friends, and ways you can support your child’s emotional development.
What is an imaginary friend?
An imaginary friend is a character, animal, or invisible companion that a child creates in their imagination. Sometimes, this friend has a name, personality, and unique traits. They may appear during playtime, join family meals, or exist only in conversation.
Children often interact with their imaginary friends as if they were real. They may talk with them, share experiences, or even argue with them. This type of pretend play is an important developmental activity that allows children to explore their emotions, problem-solving, and social skills.
Imaginary friends can take many forms, including:
- Completely invisible companions
- Personified toys (a stuffed animal or doll)
- Fantasy characters inspired by books or movies
For many children, these companions serve as a bridge between their thoughts and the outside world. This can be a way to process experiences and express feelings they may not know how to put into words yet.
Why do kids have imaginary friends?
Children create imaginary friends for many reasons. These companions may appear during periods of growing independence, such as starting preschool or experiencing changes at home. Other common reasons include:
- Emotional support: Imaginary friends can comfort children during stressful times or life transitions, like moving homes or welcoming a new sibling.
- Exploration of emotions: Through pretend relationships, children can explore feelings such as anger, fear, joy, or jealousy.
- Creativity and imagination: These friends may reflect a child’s capacity for independent, creative thinking.
- Practice with social skills: Play scenarios can help children experiment with cooperation, empathy, and problem-solving.
Having an imaginary friend does not mean a child is feeling lonely or lacking friends. Instead, it may reflect their creative thinking and engagement in complex play.
Signs your child may have an imaginary friend
Not every imaginary friend is obvious. Some children talk openly about their imaginary friends, while others may be more private. You may notice:
- Your child talks to someone when alone or pauses as if listening to another “voice.”
- They set up activities or extra seats for their friend.
- They reference the friend’s preferences, such as “Charlie doesn’t like carrots.“
- They include the imaginary friend in storytelling, pretend play, or drawings.
Many children of school-age experience some form of imaginary companionship. In fact, some studies have shown that approximately 39% of children age 5 to 7 report having an imaginary friend.
Are imaginary friends normal for children?
Yes, imaginary friends are normal and often a positive part of childhood. Research notes that pretend play is crucial for children’s cognitive and emotional growth.
Imaginary friends can:
- Help children understand the difference between fantasy and reality
- Encourage empathy and emotional awareness
- Support creative problem-solving and storytelling skills
- Provide comfort and a sense of control during new or stressful situations
Parents can support this phase by showing interest without judgment. Asking open-ended questions such as, “What did you and your friend play today?” can make children feel heard and validated.
Remember, these friendships often fade naturally as children develop new ways to socialize and express themselves.
When do imaginary friends become a concern?
In most cases, imaginary friends are harmless and temporary. However, signs to consider watching for include:
- The friend’s presence leads to fear, distress, or aggressive behavior.
- Your child insists that the friend controls their actions or thoughts.
- Your friend isolates themselves from peers to spend excessive time with an imaginary companion.
- The imaginary friend’s influence causes stress or interferes with their daily functioning.
If any of these behaviors appear, consider discussing concerns with a pediatrician or child therapist. Child therapists can help families understand whether the behavior is part of normal pretend play or if further support may be helpful. Therapists can also guide families in nurturing emotional communication and helping children manage feelings they may not yet understand.
Benefits of therapy for children
Even when an imaginary friend isn’t problematic, therapy can be a helpful resource for children and parents. Therapists specializing in child development can support families with transitions, emotional regulation, and communication skills in age-appropriate ways.
Therapy can help children:
- Build confidence and emotional awareness
- Develop coping strategies for stress and life transitions
- Improve social and problem-solving skills
- Express feelings safely through play and storytelling
For parents, therapy can offer insight into supporting a child’s emotional world. If you’re interested in exploring therapy for children, learn more at findmytherapist.com.
Takeaway
An imaginary friend can be a sign that a child’s imagination and emotional world are flourishing. These pretend relationships allow children to make sense of their world, practice empathy, and explore complex emotions through play.
As a parent, a great approach is often rooted in curiosity and acceptance. Ask gentle questions, listen without judgment, and appreciate the creativity your child is bringing to life. When children feel supported in their play, they learn that their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are valid.
Therapy can provide additional support for families seeking support. Find My Therapist helps connect you with licensed mental health professionals who can help support your family, whether through in-person or online therapy sessions.
Your child’s imagination can be powerful. With understanding, patience, and support, it can become a valuable tool for emotional development.