Maybe you know the feeling: you’re scrolling through social media, and the longer you scroll, the worse you feel. Everyone seems to be living exciting, meaningful lives, while you feel like you’re missing out. This worry that you’re “behind” or not measuring up is commonly known as FOMO, or the fear of missing out.
FOMO is more than just a social annoyance; it’s a psychological phenomenon that can affect your mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. From online events to big life milestones, FOMO can make it hard to fully enjoy the present moment. However, with awareness, coping strategies, and sometimes professional support, you can overcome it.
What is FOMO?
FOMO, or the fear of missing out, describes a feeling of stress or unease that comes from believing others are experiencing more, enjoying life more, or making better choices than you are. It often arises when comparing yourself to the curated highlight reels of others’ lives online.
FOMO isn’t just about social media; it can appear in many areas of life, including work, travel, dating, and even parenting. A related term, FOBO (fear of a better option), can also cause difficulty committing to decisions because you’re constantly worried there’s a “better” choice elsewhere.
On the flip side, JOMO, or the joy of missing out, is the practice of embracing your own life and finding contentment in your choices without constantly comparing yourself to others.
Signs of FOMO
It can be tricky to recognize when FOMO is affecting your life, but some common signs include:
- Constantly checking social media or event updates
- Feeling anxious about missing out on opportunities or experiences
- Difficulty making decisions
- Comparing your life negatively to others’
- Experiencing jealousy or envy when seeing others’ achievements
- Feeling distracted or disengaged in your own life
Recognizing these signs can be the first step toward managing FOMO and reclaiming your mental well-being.
Why do we get FOMO?
According to theories like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, humans have an inherent need to belong. It’s a social drive that feels as vital as food, water, or shelter.
Social Comparison Theory suggests we evaluate our worth and success by comparing ourselves to others. This was helpful for survival in small communities, but it can backfire in today’s hyper-connected world.
Now, with endless access to social media and curated content, we constantly compare ourselves to the “highlight reels” of others’ lives. We see once-in-a-lifetime moments, big achievements, and filtered perfection, which can make our own experiences feel inadequate in comparison.
The psychology behind FOMO
FOMO is rooted in fear of social exclusion. Fear is designed to keep us safe; it’s a survival mechanism that alerts us to potential threats and motivates us to take action to protect ourselves. While this fear system was crucial for our ancestors in avoiding predators or other dangers, in modern life, it can be triggered by more abstract concerns, like fear of missing out.
The part of the brain most responsible for fear responses is the amygdala, an almond-shaped structure deep in the brain. The amygdala processes emotions quickly and signals the body to respond to perceived threats, often before the rational mind has a chance to weigh in. In the case of FOMO, the amygdala may interpret social comparison or the idea of being left out as “danger,” even though there’s no physical threat.
This overactive fear response, or hyperarousal, can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and restlessness. This may push us to check social media constantly, overcommit to activities, or hesitate to make decisions. Understanding the neurological and psychological roots of FOMO can be helpful in understanding this response and moving toward a healthier mindset.
The mental health effects of FOMO
Research shows that FOMO can contribute to a range of mental health challenges, including:
- Anxiety and social anxiety: Worrying about missing experiences or opportunities
- Depression: Feeling inadequate compared to others
- Sleep problems: Overuse of social media late at night
- Reduced focus: Difficulty concentrating on your own goals
- Relationship strain: Feeling disconnected from your partner or loved ones
In marriage, for example, FOMO may show up as comparing your relationship to others. This can cause tension that may benefit from marriage counseling or couples therapy.
Tips for coping with FOMO
While FOMO, or fear of missing out, can feel overwhelming, there are practical steps to help manage it:
- Limit social media use: Set boundaries on when and how often you check platforms.
- Practice mindfulness: Focus on the present moment rather than what you might be missing.
- Reframe your thoughts: Replace the thought, “I’m missing out,” with “I’m choosing what’s best for me.“
- Embrace JOMO: Celebrate your decisions and find joy in your own decisions.
- Prioritize self-care: Sleep, exercise, and hobbies can reduce stress and improve your mood.
- Address FOBO: Make intentional decisions rather than worrying about all possible options.
Therapy for FOMO
If FOMO is affecting your mental health or relationships, therapy can help. Licensed therapists can teach strategies to manage stress, reframe negative thought patterns, and cultivate joy. Therapy can also support couples navigating FOMO-related tensions.
At findmytherapist.com, we connect you with licensed mental health professionals who accept insurance and offer both online and in-person appointments, making it easier to get the support you need.
Takeaway: Turning FOMO into JOMO
FOMO may be a common part of human psychology, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By recognizing the signs, practicing coping strategies, and seeking professional support, you can shift from fear to contentment. Embracing JOMO allows you to enjoy your own life, making intentional choices, and focusing on what truly matters to you.