Many people believe therapy is something you seek only when facing a major problem or when you need advice on how to fix a problem. Others may assume that talking about struggles with a therapist won’t make a meaningful difference. These common misconceptions often lead people to view therapy as just a quick fix to get back on the “right track” instead of a process that promotes lasting growth and change.
The truth is, being in counseling is a process. It requires time and effort to see results. As a therapist with over five years of experience working directly with clients, it has become clear to me that many people don’t understand what counseling really is. If you are considering counseling, there are several key points to consider before starting therapy sessions.
7 things to know before starting therapy
Before starting therapy, consider the following:
1. Therapists don’t give advice
A therapist, generally, will not tell their clients exactly what to do. Instead, your therapist will work with you to explore options and empower you to make your own decisions. Your therapist will develop a treatment plan that is best suited to your unique situation and needs.
According to the ACA Code of Ethics, which contains guidelines on professional conduct for counselors in the U.S., it is unethical for a therapist to give direct advice. This is because doing so can interfere with the client’s autonomy, nonmaleficence, beneficence, and fidelity.
These principles emphasize the importance of your right to make your own decisions, avoiding harm, supporting your well-being, and maintaining trust in the therapeutic relationship. Not following these standards may cause more harm than good.
2. Therapy isn’t a “magic pill”
Therapy is not a quick cure or a one-size-fits-all solution. It is a very personal experience, and it can look very different from one client to another. Every client, experience, and situation is unique. Each should be handled differently.
It can take some time to build a relationship with your therapist. However, this is important so that you feel more comfortable opening up and starting to explore deeper issues.
3. Your therapist is not your best friend
The relationship between a client and a therapist, called the therapeutic relationship or therapeutic alliance, is professional. It should serve as an example of a healthy relationship, built on boundaries and mutual respect.
According to the ACA Code of Ethics, therapists must avoid any personal, nonprofessional, or romantic relationships with clients. This is because such relationships can blur boundaries and create a risk of harm.
The therapist’s role is to support their client during therapy sessions, whether in-person or online. Meanwhile, the therapist’s role would also be to keep the focus on the client’s growth and goals in a safe, professional environment.
4. You get out of therapy what you put in
Therapy is a process that takes time, patience, and openness. Meaningful change doesn’t happen overnight, but with consistent effort, you may begin to notice growth along the way. Because you are the expert in your own life, the more you share with your therapist, the better your therapist can understand, support, and guide you through the process.
5. Every therapist is different
Each therapist has their own experience, education, training, and personality. That means each therapist may address issues and concerns differently.
If you feel that your therapist’s approach isn’t working, it is important to communicate that to allow the therapist to adjust. If you still feel a lack of connection, you and your therapist can discuss finding a different therapist who may be a better fit for your needs.
6. Therapists can’t diagnose people they haven’t met
Just because someone appears to be struggling, or if they are acting in a certain way, doesn’t mean the therapist can diagnose them. A therapist can only diagnose someone who has been seen and enough information has been gathered. Using secondhand information or observations about people the therapist does not know could be misleading or biased.
7. Therapists can’t read minds
Even with a background in psychology, a therapist cannot know what you’re thinking unless it is communicated. If there is something specific that you feel needs to be addressed in therapy, you must communicate it to the therapist. Open communication allows the therapist to provide the most effective support.
Takeaway
Keeping these points in mind before starting therapy can help you set realistic expectations and feel better prepared to begin your journey toward growth and healing. Understanding what therapy is, and what it isn’t, can set the foundation for a meaningful and effective therapeutic experience.