In today’s world, spending hundreds of dollars on material items can feel easier to justify than investing in your own mental health. While buying something tangible like a new phone, concert ticket, or new clothes can give instant gratification, investing in therapy can offer something more valuable: emotional well-being, resilience, and personal growth.

Many people want to feel happier, reduce stress, improve relationships, and enjoy a more peaceful life. Yet despite these desires, there’s often hesitation to reach out for help. Understanding the common reasons for resisting therapy can be the first step toward overcoming them and embracing the benefits that professional mental health support can provide.

Common reasons for resisting therapy

Here are 5 of Suzanne Gelb, Ph.D., J.D.‘s theories outlining common reasons for resisting therapy:

1. Fear of facing our feelings

Confronting deep emotions can feel overwhelming. If you’re grieving a breakup, dealing with anxiety, or processing trauma, the idea of talking to a stranger about your emotions can feel intimidating. Some people worry that opening up will “unleash” uncontrollable emotions, keeping them in denial rather than allowing them to heal.

2. Expectation of a quick fix

Therapy requires commitment. While it can be transformative, therapy rarely can provide instant results. Unlike a product you buy online or a quick self-care tip, personal growth is often a process that unfolds over weeks or months. Many people resist therapy because they crave an immediate solution rather than a sustainable change.

3. Belief that investing in happiness is frivolous

Cultural norms can make it easier to spend money on entertainment than on personal growth. People may feel guilty spending money on therapy, thinking it’s selfish, while they readily pay for short-term pleasures like a new outfit or video game. This perception can keep individuals in denial about the value of prioritizing their mental health.

4. Shame or stigma

Social stigma still surrounds seeking help for mental health. Highly educated or successful individuals might feel they “should have it all together” or that seeking help is a sign of weakness. This shame can prevent people from accessing the support they need, keeping them stuck in old patterns.

5. Doubt that it will work

Unlike a product with a guaranteed result or your money back, therapy requires active participation from both the client and the therapist. People often resist investing in therapy because the results feel uncertain, especially compared to the immediate rewards of material purchases.

Changing how you view therapy

If you’re hesitant about starting therapy, it may help to reframe how you think about it:

  • Self-reflection: Identify what fears, doubts, or biases are keeping you from seeking help. Understanding these barriers can be the first step toward change.
  • Consider the cost of doing nothing: Ask yourself where you’ll be in two or three years if current patterns continue. The cost of avoiding therapy could be persistent stress, sadness, or unresolved grief. These costs can be far greater than the investment in support.
  • Reevaluate your priorities: Think about the value of your mental health. Can you really put a price on your inner peace, happiness, or well-being? Investing in yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary.
  • Give yourself permission: Just as you allow yourself to enjoy vacations, shopping trips, or new experiences, recognize that therapy is another form of self-care.

How to encourage a loved one to seek therapy

Supporting someone who doesn’t want to seek help for their mental health can be challenging. Here are some strategies that may help:

  • Start with empathy: Acknowledge their feelings and fears rather than pressuring or dismissing them.
  • Normalize the experience: Share that going to therapy is a common, healthy way to address challenges.
  • Highlight benefits of therapy: Focus on the positive outcomes of therapy rather than what’s “wrong” with them.
  • Offer practical support: Help them with finding a therapist, scheduling their first appointment, or exploring local therapy office options.
  • Be patient: Change often takes time. Gentle encouragement can be more effective than forceful persuasion.

Takeaway

Resisting therapy can be common, but understanding the reasons behind hesitation, whether that’s fear, shame, doubt, or a desire for a quick fix, can help you get started on your healing journey. Investing in therapy is an investment in your long-term emotional health, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Personal growth and healing may take time, but the benefits can be long-lasting. Therapy is not selfish; it’s a commitment to yourself and your well-being. Whether for you or a loved one, taking the first step to seek professional mental health support can be transformative.