The holidays can be a truly magical time: the lights, the music, the glitter, and the poignancy of childhood memories. Since the holidays can bring up a range of emotions, it isn’t unusual to read blogs and articles on holiday stress. This is important! However, it is also possible to increase our joy by finding ways to celebrate the delights of the holidays.

One way to greatly increase our joy is to practice appreciation. In the mindfulness tradition, a quality called appreciative joy plays an important role. Appreciative joy helps to create a balanced, long-term form of happiness. Appreciative joy is deliberately cultivated along with loving-kindness, compassion, and equanimity. It is a satisfying way to increase happiness any time of year, but it is especially helpful to cultivate it over the holidays.

So, how do we practice appreciative joy?

Growing appreciative joy by taking in the good

Rick Hanson, PhD, a neuropsychologist and author of books such as Hardwiring Happiness and Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness, describes a process for taking in positive experiences so that they become a steady, internal sense of joy and confidence. He developed a four-step process he calls HEAL that we can use to increase inner strength and a steady sense of joy. 

HEAL to increase inner strength and sense of joy

HEAL is an acronym for the four steps, which will be described below:

  • Have a positive experience: Every day, we experience – and tend to overlook – dozens of tiny positive experiences: appreciating the warmth of a quilt when awakening on a blustery winter day; drinking a cup of tea or coffee; experiencing the laughter of a small child or the smile of a friendly colleague. According to Dr. Hanson, due to our brain’s negativity bias, we tend to filter out many pleasant occurrences each day. So, one key to joy is to deliberately notice these experiences.
  • Enrich it: Once we have made a point to notice these small, positive daily experiences, we take a moment to enrich the experience by really experiencing them. Here we allow ourselves 10-20 seconds to really feel the quiet joy in our body, noticing what it feels like to experience this good feeling.
  • Absorb it: This step allows the positive experience to become wired into our brains and nervous system, in a sense, so that we can draw upon it in the future. We set an intention to really let this good feeling sink into us, perhaps imagining the feeling as a color and letting it permeate our body, or imagining the feeling planting a seed in our heart.
  • Link it: Link the feeling to the feelings generated by a past negative experience.

The holiday season is a lovely time of year to try the above strategy. Try to really tune into and notice the aspects of the holidays that fill you with joy. (There is no need to pretend that the constant presence of holiday music fills you with joy if it, in fact, does not!) The strands of lights on trees around town, moments of laughter as you enjoy a favorite holiday movie, a surprise group of carolers, the sip of homemade cocoa, or the taste of a holiday cookie. Simply taking a few moments to feel the good can add to your feelings of joy.

Cultivating gratitude by appreciating interdependence

One way to cultivate joy though gratitude is by noticing the conditions that come together to enjoy a holiday event. Paying attention to this can help to increase joy. Take a moment to consider the people it takes to create a simple event like a tree lighting ceremony. Consider the hours of planning that went into it, the number of people it takes to pull it off.

Another example is to consider a typical seasonal concert. A typical concert requires a conductor, musicians, and singers. However, it also requires lighting staff, ushers, box office staff, set-up teams, and the audience. Consider the effort that went into simply one musician being present that day. You can also consider the hours of practice to become skilled at an instrument. For this musician, consider the love and patience of the family in taking a child to lessons. Beyond the individuals, consider the materials that were used to build an instrument. Then, multiply this by every musician on the stage! It is awe-inspiring to consider how much effort and how many conditions must come together for each performer to be present on a stage.

More ideas to help you practice appreciative joy

With some thoughtfulness and creativity, there are many other ways we can pump up the joy of the season. 

  • Practice mindful cooking and savoring: Try making cocoa from scratch and take time to really savor the flavor.
  • Create your own private or family rituals: Take time to light candles and enjoy a favorite holiday movie in the ambient glow (maybe with some of that homemade cocoa). 
  • Participate in free community events: Most communities offer free concerts, guided nature walks, holiday-themed museum events…community events abound during the holiday season.
  • Practice simple acts of service: Make cookies or other treats to take to a nursing home. Pick up small gifts at a dollar store to hand out to your co-workers. 
  • Go on a sleigh ride: Enjoy the clop, clop of the horse hooves while you take in fresh air, the sparkling snow, and the winter sky.
  • Take a drive to view holiday lights: Really notice the infinite number of colors and textures.
  • Listen to music that is meaningful to you: Whether cherished Christmas hymns or music from your favorite old movies, listening to music can bring back the warmth of days gone by.
  • Have a holiday movie-themed party: Encourage friends to dress up as characters from the movie.
  • Revisit simple traditions from your childhood: What rituals or activities brought joy to you and your family when you were growing up? How can you honor them now?
  • Explore the holiday traditions of other cultures: The holiday season is rich with history, and it can be enriching to experience a new aspect of the holidays. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, Solstice – it can be interesting to respect and celebrate the many aspects of the holiday season.

Appreciation feeds goodwill and natural generosity

Finally, practicing appreciation is a lovely way to celebrate the season. The holiday season is often considered a celebration of goodwill to all. By savoring the good, appreciating the interdependence in life, and taking time to celebrate the season in a meaningful way, we can gradually feed our sense of joy. Then, we are more likely to feel a natural sense of generosity. That sense of generosity can then reach out to others and genuinely wishes them well.