On June 8th, we celebrate National Best Friends Day — a moment that invites us to pause and appreciate the people who truly know us. Whether you have someone who’s been by your side for years or you’re still searching for that kind of connection, it’s natural to wonder: what is a best friend, really? You may also wonder why these relationships feel so deeply tied to our emotional well-being.

Friendships can shape how we see ourselves, how we cope with stress, and how connected we feel to the world around us. Friendships can act as a day-to-day emotional anchor. They can offer comfort, laughter, and a sense of belonging.

What is a best friend?

So, what is a best friend? The best friend meaning goes beyond simply enjoying someone’s company. A best friend is someone you feel connected to. This may be someone who knows your quirks, your struggles, your strengths, and still chooses to show up for you.

A best friend might be:

  • Someone you see every day, or someone you see occasionally
  • Someone you’ve known for years, or someone you connected with quickly
  • Someone who feels like family, even if you’re not related

For some people, a best friendship can feel like a sisterhood or brotherhood. There may be a sense of loyalty and emotional safety that makes it easier to open up about things you might not share with others.

Some qualities of a best friend may include:

  • Trust: You feel safe being vulnerable
  • Comfort: You can talk about anything without fear of judgment
  • Consistency: They show up for you, even when life gets busy
  • Mutual enjoyment: You genuinely like spending time together
  • Feeling seen and valued: They recognize and appreciate who you are

It’s also important to note that you can have more than one best friend. Different friends may fulfill different roles in your life. Whether it’s someone you talk to daily or someone you reconnect with after months of seeing each other, that feeling of “we never skipped a beat” can be a sign of a strong bond.

Types of friendships

Not every friendship is the same, and that can be a good thing. Understanding the different types of friendships can help you recognize what you need and what you value in your relationships.

  • Acquaintances: These are people you know casually. This could be coworkers, neighbors, or people you see regularly but don’t share much personal information with.
  • Casual friends: Casual friends can be people you enjoy spending time with, but you may not have a deep emotional connection with them. You might grab coffee or chat occasionally.
  • Close friends: These might be the people you trust and confide in. Close friends often provide emotional support, and they may be more involved in your daily life.
  • Lifelong friends: Lifelong friendships can develop over years or even decades. These relationships often evolve through different life stages and can feel like a best friend for a lifetime connection.

Understanding the spectrum of friendships can also help clarify the friend vs. best friend dynamic. Not every friend needs to be considered a best friend, and that’s okay. Each type of relationship can play a unique role in your life.

The importance of great friendships

Having good friends can be deeply connected to mental health and overall well-being. Research consistently shows that meaningful social connections can have a powerful impact on how we feel.

Here are a few research-backed insights on friendships:

So, why do friendships matter so much?

  • They can provide emotional support during difficult times
  • They can offer opportunities for bonding and shared experiences
  • They may help reinforce a sense of belonging and identity
  • They can act as a buffer against stress

When we feel understood and accepted by others, it can create a sense of positive regard. This is a concept that refers to feeling valued and accepted unconditionally. This kind of emotionally supportive environment can support emotional resilience.

Even being part of larger friend groups can contribute to well-being, offering a sense of community and shared connection.

How to get a best friend

Finding a best friend, or even building new friendships in general, can feel challenging, especially as an adult. Some people may notice that making friends seemed easier when they were younger, often because they were surrounded by peers in school or structured environments.

As adults, things can look different. Remote work can limit social interactions, busy schedules can make it harder to prioritize social time, and life transitions can shift existing friendships. Building friendships often takes time, effort, and intention.

Here are some ways people can cultivate friendships:

  • Be curious and open: The Gottman Institute suggests that asking questions and sharing stories can help build connection. Showing genuine interest in someone’s experiences can create a foundation for deeper conversations.
  • Look for shared experiences: You may find it easier to connect with people who are in a similar life stage or who share similar interests. For example, you may explore hobbies (fitness classes, art groups, book clubs), professional communities, or volunteering opportunities.
  • Use your existing network: Sometimes friendships can grow through mutual connections. Spending time with friends or family can naturally expand your social circle.
  • Explore digital spaces: Social media and friendship-focused apps can help people connect.

It’s also important to be patient with the process. Friendship may not happen quickly. It may develop gradually through repeated interactions and shared experiences.

How to keep friends

Maintaining friendships can look different for everyone. What works for maintaining one friendship might not work for another.

Some friendships thrive on:

  • Frequent communication
  • Regular plans and check-ins

Others may be more flexible:

  • Going longer periods without talking
  • Picking up right where you left off

That said, maintaining friendships often involves some level of intentional effort, such as:

  • Checking in: Checking in, whether through a quick text message or phone call, can go a long way.
  • Making plans: Scheduling time to see each other can help keep the connection alive.
  • Being responsive: Showing up when your friend reaches out.

It can also help to recognize that friendships may shift over time. Life changes, like having a baby, moving, or career changes, can affect connections.

How to be a best friend

If you’re wondering how you can show up better or how to be a better friend, it can help to think about what you value in others and how you might reflect that in your own relationships.

Here are some examples of qualities often associated with close friendships:

  • Being present: Showing up when your friend needs support.
  • Checking in: Asking how they’re doing and listening with care.
  • Respecting boundaries: Understanding and honoring their boundaries and needs.
  • Showing interest: Engaging or asking about their hobbies, goals, and experiences.
  • Being reliable: Following through on commitments.

Healthy friendships often involve mutual care and respect. In some ways, they can resemble a sound relationship house, which is a concept from the Gottman Method that highlights trust, communication, and emotional connection as key building blocks.

Being a good friend doesn’t mean being a perfect friend. It might simply mean being consistent, thoughtful, and willing to grow within the friendship.

Check in on your friends graphic

Takeaway

A best friend can be a meaningful relationship to have in your life. Whether you call them your bestie or simply someone you trust deeply, these connections often provide emotional grounding, support, and a sense of belonging. Understanding what a best friend is and how friendships can evolve can help you appreciate the relationships you have and approach new ones with intention.

At the same time, it’s okay if your friendships don’t look like someone else’s. There’s no one-size-fits-all model for companionship. Whether you have one close friend, several meaningful relationships, or are building your social circle, each step toward connection can matter for your mental health.