When the world feels unstable, whether because of political upheaval, social injustice, war, climate anxiety, or public tragedy, emotions can run high. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, angry, afraid, or helpless. During these times, we often face a new kind of challenge. We may wonder:

Do I speak up? What do I say? How do I talk to people I love when we do not agree?

Whether you are navigating hard conversations with family, friends, coworkers, or even your therapist, these moments require a balance of honesty, care, and self-protection.

Why unrest makes conversations so hard

During times of unrest, you are not just debating ideas. You may be trying to speak up for your values, your safety, or the dignity of people you care about. These conversations can feel like high stakes because they often involve concepts such as:

  • Identity: Your lived experience, culture, or background
  • Justice: Fairness and accountability
  • Belonging: Fear of rejection or loss of connection
  • Trauma: Current or historical wounds being triggered

First, take care of your nervous system

Before you try to engage in any tough conversation, ask yourself:

Am I regulated enough to speak clearly and listen openly? Is now the right time for this conversation? Am I trying to connect, or just unload or retaliate?

You do not need to be calm, but you should try to be anchored.

Try this grounding check-in before engaging:

  • Name one feeling you are experiencing.
  • Identify one need you have in this moment.
  • Take one full, conscious breath.
  • Remind yourself that you are allowed to pause before engaging.

How to navigate difficult conversations

Clarify your “why”

Knowing why you want to talk can help you stay focused when emotions rise. Are you hoping to connect? To share how you are feeling? To set a boundary? To correct misinformation?

Being clear on your purpose keeps you grounded when emotions rise. It also helps you notice when the conversation starts drifting away from what you intended. If you find yourself getting reactive, you can gently pause and return to your “why.”

Lead with your lived experience

In moments of tension, stories are often more powerful than statistics. Speaking from your own lived experience invites empathy and curiosity rather than defensiveness. When possible, speak using “I-statements”, your values, your story, your feelings.

For example, instead of: “People like you never listen.”
Try: “When I feel unheard, it brings up frustration and sadness for me.”

Know your boundaries and limits

You are not obligated to debate your humanity, explain your pain, or tolerate dismissive or harmful behavior. It is okay to say:

  • “I’m not in a place to talk about this right now.”
  • “This feels important, but I need to come back to it when I’m less overwhelmed.”
  • “I want to share my perspective, but I can’t keep defending it.”

Your energy is precious. Protect it.

Use therapy as a rehearsal space

Therapy is not just for healing. It can also be a practice ground for courage. Hard conversations often bring up fear, grief, or anger. Working through these emotions with a therapist can help you find your voice before you use it in the real world.

Therapy is a place to explore your fears around speaking up, rehearse your words and responses, grieve relationships that feel unsafe to engage with, and/or build tools for resilience and repair.

What if the conversation goes badly?

Sometimes, people will not hear you. They might dismiss, deflect, or double down. That hurts, especially in times when you are already feeling vulnerable.

  • Return to your support system: You don’t have to hold the weight of the experience alone. Reach out to someone who makes you feel safe, such as a trusted friend, therapist, family member, or community space where you are seen and feel understood.
  • Try grounding techniques: If support is not immediately available, grounding practices can help too. Step outside and take slow, steady breaths, write down what happened and how it made you feel, or practice some self-compassion by placing a hand on your heart or somewhere you feel comforted, as a physical reminder that you are still here and still whole.
  • Name your emotions honestly: After conflict, our first instinct is often to analyze what we should have said or done differently, but before problem-solving, pause and check in with your body and emotions.
  • Offer yourself compassion for doing something hard: Remind yourself that you spoke your truth and that matters.

Takeaway

In times of unrest, emotional clarity is resistance. Feeling deeply is not a weakness. Struggling to find the right words is not a failure. Having a conversation rooted in honesty, even when voices are shaking, is an act of emotional courage.

Take care of your voice and heart. The work of speaking honestly and listening with compassion is ongoing, and you are already doing it.