Caring for aging parents and your own children can be overwhelming. Many adults find themselves pulled in opposite directions, between managing their parents’ healthcare appointments, finances, or daily needs while still being a parent or even helping adult children become independent. It can feel like a big responsibility that brings love and purpose, but it can also lead to emotional exhaustion and stress.
If this sounds familiar, you may be part of the sandwich generation. The sandwich generation refers to a growing group of caregivers supporting between two generations. November is National Family Caregivers Month, a meaningful reminder that those providing care for others also need compassion, understanding, and support.
What does the sandwich generation refer to?
The term sandwich generation describes adults, typically in their 30s to 60s, who are caring for both their own children and their aging parents at the same time. According to the Pew Research Center, about one in eight middle-aged Americans falls into this category, and millions more provide long-distance care to elderly relatives.
Carol Abaya, M.A., identified three main types:
- Traditional sandwich: Adults caring for aging parents and their own children.
- Club sandwich: Those in their 50s or 60s supporting parents, adult children, and grandchildren. This can also refer to those in their 30s and 40s caring for young children, parents, and grandparents.
- Open-faced sandwich: Anyone involved in providing eldercare, even if they don’t fit a traditional model.
Regardless of which “sandwich” model someone falls into, the common thread is the caregiver’s emotional, physical, and often financial responsibility across generations.
The impact of being a caregiver on mental health
Caregiving can be deeply rewarding, but it can also come with a heavy emotional toll. Many members of the sandwich generation experience burnout, anxiety, depression, or feelings of loneliness as they attempt to meet everyone’s needs while neglecting their own.
Studies show that family caregivers provide 80-90% of in-home long-term care for aging or disabled loved ones. These duties often include medical coordination, personal care, emotional support, and financial management. All of these can quickly become overwhelming without support.
When the demands pile up, caregivers may feel trapped or guilty for needing time for themselves. However, prioritizing self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential to maintaining mental health and sustaining the ability to care for others.
Common stressors that affect the sandwich generation
Members of the sandwich generation often face unique challenges, such as:
- Balancing parents’ needs with children’s daily routines
- Managing finances for multiple generations
- Struggling to maintain a marriage or social life
- Dealing with feelings of guilt, resentment, or emotional fatigue
- Struggling to find time to rest or recharge
- Feeling isolated or unsupported
Even with the best intentions, the pressure to “do it all” can erode mental and physical well-being over time. Recognizing these stressors early can be an important first step toward protecting your own mental health.
Tips when caring for aging parents
While there’s no single roadmap for navigating these responsibilities, a few strategies may help:
- Share the load: If possible, involve siblings, partners, or other family members in caregiving duties.
- Set realistic expectations: Accept that you can’t do everything perfectly. Prioritize what’s most important.
- Stay organized: Keep a shared calendar for appointments, medications, and household tasks.
- Communicate openly: Regular check-ins can prevent misunderstandings and reduce emotional tension.
- Take care of your health: Sleep, nutrition, and regular breaks are necessities.
- Seek community resources: Support groups and counseling may provide relief and perspective.
Therapy for caregivers
Therapy can be a healing tool for those in the sandwich generation. A licensed therapist can help caregivers develop healthy boundaries, manage guilt, and find practical ways to prevent burnout and stress. It can also provide a safe space to process the emotions that can come with balancing so many roles.
At findmytherapist.com, you can connect with local mental health professionals who specialize in stress management, family dynamics, caregiver support, and family counseling. Whether you prefer online therapy or in-person sessions, support is available to help you restore balance.
Takeaway
The sandwich generation can carry an incredible amount of responsibility. Sometimes, that can come with little recognition or support. If you’re caring for both your children and other family members, remember that your well-being matters too. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a step toward sustaining your ability to care for those you love.
This National Family Caregivers Month, take time to honor your own mental health. You don’t have to do it all alone. Find a therapist online and start feeling supported again.