Starting college, moving to a new city, or even just spending some time away from home can bring up unexpected emotions. The longing for familiar faces and places or the sudden craving for home-cooked meals can be signs you may be experiencing homesickness.

Whether you’re a college student adjusting to dorm life, someone who has recently relocated for work, or someone who has just moved out on their own for the first time, feeling homesick is common. It can affect people of all ages and backgrounds, yet many find themselves feeling embarrassed when these feelings arise. This blog will help you understand homesickness, recognize the symptoms, and learn coping strategies.

What is homesickness?

Homesickness is the feeling of stress that occurs when we’re separated from familiar people, places, and routines that provide us with comfort. It’s a natural response to change and displacement from our “comfort zone.”

Homesickness isn’t just about missing a physical location or safe space. It’s about missing the safe space of comfort that “home” represents. This includes people we know best, routines that structure our days, and the sense of identity that comes from being in a familiar place. For many, college represents a major life transition where young adults often navigate new social circles, academic pressures, and increased independence. This is all happening while potentially living far away from everything they’ve known up to this point.

It is important to note that homesickness is not a clinical diagnosis. It is an adjustment-related emotional experience that may involve feelings of stress and sadness.

Recognizing signs of homesickness

Understanding the signs of homesickness can help you identify what you’re experiencing. Common symptoms of homesickness include:

  • Depressed mood or sadness
  • Feeling anxious about your new situation
  • Irritability or mood swings
  • Feeling lonely even when surrounded by others
  • Crying unexpectedly
  • Changes in appetite (eating too much or too little)
  • Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
  • Withdrawal from social activities
  • Difficulty concentrating on work or studies
  • Having trouble staying present

While some of these symptoms overlap with depression or anxiety, homesickness often improves as you get used to new places and routines.

Causes of homesickness

Understanding the causes of homesickness can help you better prepare to manage these feelings. Common causes of homesickness include:

  • Environmental changes: This can include unfamiliar foods, new languages, and different cultural norms. Even small differences, like the way people interact, can make you feel like you don’t belong.
  • Social factors: Leaving behind friends and family means losing the close proximity of your immediate social circle. Starting over socially requires energy and vulnerability that can feel exhausting.
  • Timing and circumstances: Starting college typically aligns with the end of summer. The change between summer freedom and the start of academic responsibilities can make the transition feel overwhelming.
  • Individual factors: Personality traits, previous experiences, and attachment styles can influence how someone experiences homesickness. People who are more sensitive to change, have strong family bonds, or haven’t had many previous experiences being away from home may be more susceptible to feeling homesick.
  • Academic or work pressure: When you’re struggling with change and don’t have your usual support system around you, it’s not uncommon to long for the comfort you’d typically receive from the people you love.

Can you feel homesick for a person?

While we often think of homesickness as missing a place, it can also be about missing people who make you feel at home. Missing specific people, like family, close friends, or pets, can be a common part of homesickness.

When we’re separated from people who know us well and accept us, we might feel like we’re losing touch with ourselves. This is especially challenging during periods of personal growth and change.

Homesickness can also extend to missing pets, who provide unconditional love and comfort. Many people underestimate how much they rely on their pets for emotional support until they are separated.

Tips to cope with homesickness

Managing homesickness often involves staying connected to home while actively building your new life. The goal isn’t to stop longing for home entirely. Instead, the goal is to reduce intensity and prevent homesickness from interfering with your ability to thrive. Ways to cope with homesickness include:

  • Maintain meaningful connections: Schedule regular video calls with family and friends. Stay connected in ways that support you, while also leaving space to build new routines.
  • Create new routines: Find a local coffee shop you enjoy or join a club that aligns with your interests. Routine can create a sense of stability that can counteract feelings of loneliness.
  • Make your new space feel like home: Personalize your space with photos, familiar scents, cozy blankets, or decorations to bridge the gap between your old and new spaces. Small changes can make a difference in how comfortable you feel.
  • Stay open to new experiences: Be patient with yourself. Building comfort in a new place takes time. Approach new experiences with curiosity rather than comparing them to how things were.
  • Build new relationships gradually: You don’t need to find new relationship replacements right away. However, having local connections can improve your adjustment. This may start with a classmate or someone who shares your hobbies.
  • Practice mindfulness and gratitude: When you’re feeling homesick, acknowledge your feelings and gently redirect your attention. Try to think of the positive aspects of your current situation. Having a gratitude journal can help you notice and appreciate the good things around you.

For homesick college students, utilizing campus resources can be helpful. Most colleges and universities offer support groups and programs designed for adjustment to college life.

Ways to cope with homesickness.

Making friends in a new environment

One of the most effective ways to combat homesickness is to make new friends. However, making friends as an adult can feel especially daunting. The good news is that many people in new environments are in similar situations and are equally interested in forming connections.

  • Start with shared activities or interests: Join a club, organization, or group centered around your hobbies or interests. This can be a book club, walking group, intramural sports team, or volunteer group. Shared activities provide natural opportunities for conversation.
  • Be present: Friendship often develops through repeated exposure. Regularly attend the same fitness class at the same time each week or frequent the same coffee shop. Familiarity also breeds comfort, and you’ll start recognizing faces that can develop into friendships.
  • Say yes to invitations: When you’re trying to develop new friendships, it’s important to show up. Saying yes to invitations shows you’re interested in spending time with people. Even if you’re feeling homesick or tired, making the effort to show up can lead to stronger connections.
  • Follow-up and make plans: If you meet someone you’d like to get to know better, suggest plans like grabbing a coffee or meeting to study together. Be willing to take the initiative in making plans.
  • Use technology: Friendship apps or local social media groups can help you connect with people near you. Many cities have groups that specifically cater to people who are new to the area.

Tips to help someone who is homesick

If someone you care about is experiencing homesickness, your support can make a difference. Ways that you can help include:

  • Listen without trying to fix: Sometimes people need to vent about their feelings. They may want to simply feel heard before they’re ready for advice or solutions. Validate their emotions by acknowledging that homesickness is difficult and that their feelings make sense.
  • Encourage connection: Support their efforts to stay in touch with home while encouraging them to go outside of their comfort zone. Try suggesting local activities or clubs.
  • Help them create positive associations: Invite them to explore local attractions or try new restaurants. Having positive experiences in their new environment can help them begin to feel more connected.
  • Be patient with the adjustment process: Overcoming homesickness takes time. There will likely be good days and challenging days. Try to avoid expressing frustrations if they seem to be struggling with the same issues repeatedly.
  • Suggest professional support: If homesickness is impacting their ability to eat, sleep, or engage in activities, they may benefit from speaking with a therapist. A licensed therapist can provide coping strategies curated to their needs.

Takeaway

Homesickness is a common feeling that reflects a deep need for connection and belonging. Whether you’re a homesick college student adjusting to dorm life or someone navigating another major life transition, these feelings are valid.

If you’re currently experiencing homesickness, try to be patient and compassionate with yourself. Seek support from a licensed therapist, stay connected to your loved ones, and remain open to new experiences that await you. Your feelings are valid, and with time and effort, you can build a fulfilling life wherever you are.